A Ream of Paper and a Lifetime of Gratitude

One of the most touching things my first supervisor ever did is something I still remember until today. When I told him that I did not want to write too much because I had run out of paper to print my work, he simply gave me a ream of A4 paper. It may sound like a small gesture, but to me, it meant a lot. It reminded me that he believed in my writing and wanted me to keep going. This happened more than 20 years ago, when I was only 22, but I still remember it clearly. RIP En. Atan...I miss you so much....

Another touching memory was with my master’s degree supervisor. One day, I saw him bringing my proposal back to his room. He told me that there was something in my writing that he was not entirely sure about, so he went to discuss it with another lecturer, Dr. Rxxxx. Later, he told me that what I had written was correct.....

That moment stayed with me. It was only a final-year project, but he treated it with so much care and seriousness. He checked my work carefully and wanted to make sure everything was right. When I last saw him, he even mentioned that he had nominated me for the Best Thesis Award. Unfortunately, it was not successful, perhaps because I was doing a Master’s in Education rather than a full research master’s degree. Still, knowing that he believed my work was worthy of that recognition meant so much to me.
Thank you Dr Shaffe, Happy Teacher's Day.......

A Mentor Who Carried More Than Just My Proposal

Raining heavily outside... suddently thinking about someone who shaped my journey in a quiet but lasting way, Dr Shaffe.

He was never the kind of supervisor who impressed you with complex theories or cutting-edge research discussions. In fact, there were moments when he would honestly say, “I’m not sure about this part.” But what made him different was what came after that. Instead of leaving it there, he would go and discuss with colleagues, like Dr Ramli, just to make sure I received the guidance I needed. Looking back, that humility meant more than expertise.

I still remember one moment very clearly. I saw him walking on campus, holding my proposal in his hand, as if he had just come back from somewhere. That small scene stayed with me. It meant he had been reading it, carrying it with him, thinking about it, even outside of our meetings. When we spoke, his feedback was not rushed or general, but thoughtful and specific, as if he had truly spent time with my work.

Twelve years ago, things were very different. There was no AI, no instant tools, no easy shortcuts. Everything depended on time, patience, and human effort. And he gave that effort, consistently.

What I appreciate most is not how “great” he was in research, but how present he was as a mentor. He gave me motivation when I needed it, reassurance when I doubted myself, and support in ways that were simple but deeply meaningful.

He truly gave me something far more valuable than technical knowledge, he gave me confidence, direction, and the strength to keep going when things felt uncertain.

Even now, as I move further in my academic journey, I realize how rare that kind of supervision is. And how lucky I was to have experienced it.

Some mentors teach you knowledge.
Some mentors shape how you feel about the journey.
He is the latter.....
Thank you very much, Dr.

“Plastic Brain” and Why Early Language Matters

 Recently I came across an interesting idea called “plastic brain.”

The first time I heard about it was in an interview with Olympic freestyle skiing champion Eileen Gu. She explained that because she is still young, neuroplasticity is on her side—meaning her brain can still change and improve through the way she thinks, reflects, and trains her mind.

Later, while reading an academic article by Humphries et al., (2012) about deaf children and language development, I encountered the same concept again.

Humphries explains that the young brain is highly plastic, especially in the early years of life. During this period, children’s brains are naturally prepared to acquire language if they are exposed to an accessible human language regularly. However, this plasticity does not last forever. Around early childhood, the brain gradually becomes less flexible for first-language learning.

This is why early language exposure is so important. Humphries argues that if a child does not acquire a first language during the early years, it may become much harder to achieve full fluency later in life. Missing this critical period can affect many cognitive abilities that depend on language, such as literacy, memory organization, and even number manipulation.

In other words, the idea of a “plastic brain” reminds us that childhood is a crucial window for language development. When children have access to a language—spoken or signed—the brain can build the neural foundations needed for learning and communication.

Reading Humphries’ article made me realize that what sounded like a motivational idea in an interview actually reflects an important principle in neuroscience and education:

our brains are shaped by early experiences, and language is one of the most important experiences a child can have.

认真你就哭了。。。。

 

已经过了大半年，回看开题的presentation，
我花了近一年的心血。。。。。
心仍然无法原谅那些没有职业道德的人。。。。T.T
Proposal defence 这个名词原来被我错误定义了
心里一直回荡着这样一句话：认真你就输了。。。
原来

认真你就哭了

CNY 2026

 

2026 in Kluang (Chu yi)

Chu er 

Not the Revisions That Hurt

 I did not expect today to feel this heavy.

H*** told me that Dr. H giave her my completed proposal. My study is not even finished yet. The document is part of my ongoing research, my unpublished work, my intellectual effort, and somehow it was passed to other students without my knowledge or permission.  I feel very uncomfortable about it. It is not only about embarrassment. It is about trust. A proposal is not a public document. It contains my research design, framework, instruments, and ideas that I am still developing. I never consented for anyone else to read it. I cannot understand why an examiner would share a student’s work like that.

Now I am not just sad; I feel unsettled. I keep questioning whether this is normal practice or whether a boundary has been crossed. If this can be circulated so casually, what protection do students actually have over their own research?

I do not even know how to react properly. I am afraid to confront it, yet at the same time I cannot ignore how wrong it feels to me. Hearing that he apparently had not read my proposal, yet still gave major revisions, hurt the most. I felt stunned. I could not even react immediately. 

I keep thinking about all the nights I stayed up, the weekends I did not rest, and the constant cycle of writing, revising, checking citations, and restructuring arguments. I lived inside that proposal for months. Every paragraph carried my effort. But hearing the outcome makes it feel like all of it was dismissed so easily. The work I poured myself into suddenly feels small and almost meaningless.

What hurt me even more was my supervisor’s reaction. He was the one who chose this examiner. When I asked why I received major corrections, he did not really explain anything. 

Then he said that if I think the decision is unfair, he can call for a re-proposal defence. That sentence did not sound like an option, it sounded like a warning. The idea of going through the entire defence process again is exhausting. I honestly do not have the strength to repeat everything. So much time, preparation, and emotional energy already went into the first one.

I am not angry. I think I am just deeply discouraged. I am trying to understand whether my work is truly weak, or whether this is simply part of the academic process that no one prepares you for. Right now, it feels like I have been running for a very long time, and suddenly someone moved the finish line further away.

I can accept criticism. I can rewrite. I can work harder.  What I struggle to accept is not knowing where I stand.

My Birthday 2026

 

Merry Christmas 2025

 

IPAC 2025

 The first time I became AJK,  an unforgettable journey. 

Me and Zhang Hao Yue from Hainan China

Sangetha, me , Rokiah and Kalai (all upsi phd candicates, Rokiah come from Sarawak)

with Nada and Ruzana, Nada is from indonesia under IPS scholarship, very2 excellent student

Prof Ramlee Mustapha, very profesional, expert quanti

With Akmal Harun from USM, HLP 2024 

we are all HLP batch 2024

Sangetha, Suresh, Me and Ruzana, HLP UPSI AJK

All AJK PSS UPSI