Prof Usiskin's reply

 

Today is such a meaningful day for me. After all the waiting and back-and-forth, Prof. Zalman Usiskin himself finally granted me permission to use and translate the Van Hiele Geometry Test for my study. I feel so grateful and honored — this is from one of the most respected scholars in mathematics education.

In his reply, he officially allowed me to translate the test into Bahasa Melayu and Malaysian Sign Language (BIM). He even shared an attachment — a partial Bahasa Melayu translation done earlier by a student named Wei for questions 1–20, with notes on how each page should look. This is so valuable as a reference for me.

He also requested that I send him a copy of my translation once it is completed, and he expressed special interest in a video version of the Malaysian Sign Language translation. He mentioned that such a video might even benefit Deaf learners in other countries. That thought alone makes me feel like this project could have an impact beyond Malaysia.

I feel excited, blessed, and more motivated than ever. This permission is not just about using an instrument — it feels like recognition, trust, and a doorway to making my research more meaningful and far-reaching.

Semporna Trip

 

Behind the Scene: Sarawak Innovation Competition

Since En. F told me that my carrying marks for poster and video were outstanding, I promised myself that I must fight for the best award. But then came the incident of my proposal defense—it really broke me down. For weeks, I felt demotivated. As the competition date drew closer, I kept telling myself not to overthink and to just focus on the competition.

Yet, no matter how many times I repeated those words to myself—thousands of times—I still couldn’t calm down. Every night, I cried until I fell asleep. I didn’t even understand why I was so deeply hurt by the defense result. I told myself it didn’t matter, that it wasn’t my “true” result. Still, I couldn’t control the tears.

Finally, the day of the competition arrived. At the airport, I met Miza. My oversized poster couldn’t be carried by hand and had to go through a special baggage path. That made me so anxious—because that poster was the centerpiece of my entire booth decoration. Thankfully, it was delivered safely along with my other luggage.

....................................................................................................................................

After reaching the hotel, I immediately started working on my PowerPoint presentation and making the final preparations for the booth design in my room. The next day, Yasmin and Tvisha arrived quite late, so I had to begin decorating the booth alone because there was no time to wait.

Luckily, Vestly was also in Sarawak. He helped me so much—running around to buy the things I had forgotten. He even brought his sister and mum to visit the booth. That really touched me deeply.

When Yasmin and Tvisha finally arrived, they jumped in right away and worked tirelessly with me until 11 p.m. I had to chase them back to rest since they had just arrived that evening and must have been exhausted. After they left, I continued working on the remaining parts until 1 a.m. Miza even came down from her room around midnight to accompany me. Thank you so much, my friend.

Yes… I tried my very best to make the booth look perfect. That’s just me—pouring my heart into everything I do.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Every win carries a hidden story—of struggleEvery win carries a hidden story—of struggles, sleepless nights, quiet sacrifices, and tears that no one sees.s, sleepless nights, quiet sacrifices, and tears that no one sees.

My First Innovation Booth: My Sincere, My Heart

 

At the IDIEC Sarawak, I designed the GeoMETriA booth with one intention: that every element would speak on its own, even without words, about inclusion and immersion in education. 

• The Umbrella above the booth → symbolizes inclusion. Just like an umbrella that shelters anyone beneath it, this element represents protection, equality, and a welcoming space for all learners, especially those with hearing disabilities.

• The Neon Cour Lights → represent immersion. Bright, glowing lights draw attention and create a sense of depth and vibrancy—mirroring the immersive experiences the metaverse offers in education.

• The Robot Mascot → embodies human-friendly technology. While advanced, the robot’s cheerful and approachable design reminds us that innovation must remain student-centered, engaging, and accessible.

3. Booth Identity

• The bold “GeoMETriA” signage on the front desk stands as the focal point—almost as if the innovation itself is speaking to visitors.

• Research posters and the laptop setup show that this is not just an idea, but a project grounded in solid academic work.

• The balance between formal academic posters and the playful mascot reflects the harmony between rigorous research and student engagement.

Childhood experiences taught me to think outside the box. Since Standard 3, teachers often chose me to take part in innovation competitions. Looking back, I just realized that my simple village life—chasing dogs and cats, bathing in the river, running freely in the farm, actually painted the sky of my imagination. Thank you, Dad, for never limiting my dreams and for allowing my imagination to fly without boundaries.

When Respect Matters More Than Being Right

Even though I don’t feel that I was truly at fault during the proposal defence incident, both Nad and DL advised me to apologize to my supervisor. Honestly, I didn’t really know how to say “sorry.” In the end, I decided to draw a simple card for him.

I didn’t put my name on it — just a short apology for being rude, because I came to the meeting without printing anything for discussion. That was the least I could do.

It may seem like a small gesture, but for me it was a way to show respect and appreciation. Sometimes, winning an argument isn’t as important as maintaining good relationships.

Innovation for Disability-Inclusive Education Competition (iDIEC) 2025 Sarawak

 My team. Thank you for everything....

Participating in the Innovation for Disability-Inclusive Education Competition (iDIEC) 2025 has been a year-long journey marked by dedication, resilience, and countless learning moments. From the initial registration and abstract submission to preparing the video and poster presentations, and finally reaching the physical pitching session as a finalist, every stage demanded unwavering focus and perseverance.

Throughout this process, I encountered numerous challenges. Among the most disheartening parts of this journey was my proposal defense experience. Despite months of meticulous preparation, I was left devastated to receive a major correction verdict—without the opportunity to properly defend my work. One evaluator did not attend the session at all, while the other offered no questions, leaving me in a state of confusion and disbelief. It felt deeply unfair—how could such a critical academic milestone be reduced to silence and absence?

When I attempted to express my disappointment to my supervisor, hoping for some understanding or support, I was instead told that I could either request a new supervisor or redo the proposal defense altogether. Those words crushed me. I kept asking myself: What did I do wrong? Was my effort not visible? Why did I not deserve a fair platform to be heard?

In the days following after i met my first supervisor, I was emotionally shaken, yet trying to hold on to hope. But what came next only deepened the hurt: an email informing me of a supervisory restructuring—without my knowledge or consent. My first supervisor had requested to step back as second supervisor, and he suggest my second supervisor become my first supervisor. I was not consulted. There was no meeting, no conversation—just an email to propose it......

I was devastated.

When I tried to communicate, hoping for clarity and mutual understanding BUT my calls went unanswered. I now feel not only confused but also sidelined in a decision that directly affects my academic journey and personal wellbeing. I later found out my second supervisor was angry, assuming that I did not want him to take the lead. But that was never my intention.

I never wanted any change at all.
I have never requested or intended to change my supervisor. I value the academic relationship that we have built, and I chose my current supervisor with careful consideration based on expertise, guidance, and shared understanding of my research direction.

All I wished for was to continue under the supervision I had chosen from the beginning—someone I had trusted to guide me through this complex journey. I was merely voicing my disappointment with how the proposal defense unfolded—not rejecting or blaming anyone. I only wanted a chance to be heard, to be treated fairly, and to work things out with mutual respect.

What hurt the most was being silenced at a time when I needed clarity the most.

This experience has taught me that even in academic settings, emotional intelligence, communication, and compassion are crucial. I still believe in rebuilding trust, and I hold on to the hope that mutual understanding can be restored. I didn't ask for conflict—I only asked for fairness and guidance.

I AM AN OBJECT!!!!!How can you just pass me to other people! I AM SO SAD.....

This is my PhD journey, and I believe decisions like this should be made with the student, not for the student. What I needed was support after a difficult proposal defense—not silence, not avoidance, and certainly not an unexplained shift in supervision. I only voiced my disappointment with how the defense unfolded, and I was seeking understanding—not a restructuring, not re-pd.

Despite this difficult situation, I sincerely hope everything can be settled peacefully, without hurting anyone. I am not here to oppose or offend—I just wish to continue my PhD journey with the supervisor I originally chose, in an environment of mutual trust and open communication.

During the recent innovation competition in Kuching, I was sincerely hoping that my supervisor might visit my booth—not just to evaluate the work, but to offer support and encouragement. It was a special moment for me, especially after a challenging period. Unfortunately, he didn’t come by until I personally messaged and requested it. While I appreciate that he did eventually come, it was hard not to feel overlooked and disheartened. At that moment, more than anything, I was just hoping to feel seen and supported by someone whose presence mattered to me.

Behind Every Proposal, a Story Untold

Silence Between the Lines

When I finally sent him a heartfelt message — to explain that I had chosen him carefully, that I believed in his guidance because of years of recommendation and trust but he responded with a single line:
“My commitment to students never changes.”

He don't want answered my calls.
He told my second supervisor, that he was worried about me. ask him to comfort me.
Then he proposed a restructuring of supervision — suggesting that I change my main supervisor.

I cried not because I was weak, but because I felt something sacred had quietly broken.
Not the academic path — that still continued — but the human connection I had hoped would carry me through this lonely journey.

I did not ask for sympathy. I did not ask for praise. But i am not a product by passing around....
I only asked to be heard.

Today, I understand something that perhaps no textbook on Education 5.0 ever taught me:

You can be part of a system that talks about human-centered learning, emotional intelligence, and care — and still feel invisible within it.

I am not just a “research product.”
I am a human learner with emotions.

原来错的不是延期，是我太认真

 今天，原本是我期待已久的日子———我的博士开题答辩。为了这一刻，我准备了整整几个月，一次次地修改文稿、在深夜里梳理逻辑、补充文献。我告诉自己，只要熬过今天，研究就能真正启航。

可是，现实像是故意和我开了个小玩笑。

在开题的前几天我收到了一条短信——导师说：“可能今天开不了。”短短几个字，让我一瞬间愣住了。

短信里没有解释原因。只是后来又补了一句：“We're still trying not to postpone.”像是在为我争取,看似安慰，实际上却把一切都模糊处理，把责任轻轻地推开。可为什么我听完，心却凉了一截？。”这句话听起来像安慰，但我心里却涌起了一阵莫名的空落与委屈。我不是不能理解变故，而是我一直以为，短信中那句“我们会尽力不展延”，意味着只是其中一位评审无法出席，我的导师也许还在积极协调。但第二天，学院发来的官方邮件终于证实——**6月25日的开题答辩，正式取消了。**原因是：This event has been canceled and removed from your calendar with a note:

"Assalamualaikum dan Salam Sejahtera, dimaklumkan bahawa Pembentangan Cadangan Penyelidikan untuk pelajar XXX akan ditangguhkan ke suatu tarikh yang akan dibincangkan dan dimaklumkan kemudian. Hal ini kerana, RMIC akan terlibat dengan Audit Negara pada hari Rabu. Mohon maaf di atas segala kesulitan. Terima kasih."

如果他早知道开不了，为什么不早点坦白？为什么要让我抱着希望等候那天的到来？

我不是小题大做，只是感到一种深深的被忽略。
我不介意事情临时有变，但我在意自己是否被认真对待。难道我不配得到一个清楚的交代？难道开不了题是别人的问题？为什么连一句简单的抱歉都没有？还是说，在某些人眼里，我的时间、我的感受都是“不那么重要”的？

是不是我太敏感, 但冷静下来想，其实我只是太认真了。我认真准备每一页PPT、每一个文献、每一段逻辑，也认真安排孩子、行程、住宿、交通。。。。是因为我认真对待这件事，才会感受到这样强烈的落差。

可我的认真，连一句“对不起”都变得太奢侈？

我没有责怪谁，只是难过。这不是一个简单的“技术性取消”，而是一种让我彻底意识到自己在系统中多么渺小的时刻。

I truly don’t mind that the proposal defence had to be postponed, I understand unforeseen circumstances can arise.

When I received the message saying “we’re still trying not to postpone,” I truly thought that one of the examiners might be unavailable, and that you were still trying your best to make the session happen as planned.

That gave me hope, so I continued to prepare everything seriously — both academically and logistically. I arranged childcare, travelled, and made all necessary commitments.

It was only later, upon receiving the faculty email, that I found out the session had been officially cancelled due to the RMIC audit. In that moment, I felt quite disheartened ...... not because of the postponement itself, but because the communication had not been fully transparent from the start......

This is not the first time i have this feeling, i truly value sincerity and transparency. Even if the news isn’t ideal, I would much rather be told the truth directly than be left guessing. It helps me manage my time, my expectations, and my emotional energy more responsibly. I genuinely appreciate clear and honest updates, even if the news is disappointing. ...

Hong Kong Conference: : My First International Presentation Experience

 Today marks a meaningful milestone in my academic journey—my first-ever international presentation at the Hong Kong Special Education Conference. I had the honor to present my research on immersive, metaverse-based learning for Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing (DHH) students.

I initially registered upon the recommendation of a dear friend, Nadzimah, and I am truly grateful—because this conference has been an eye-opening experience. It brought together passionate researchers, educators, and innovators who are deeply committed to making education inclusive and impactful.

From thought-provoking keynotes to insightful dialogues, the experience has not only enriched my perspective but also reaffirmed the importance of accessibility and equity in digital education.

Thank you to the organizers and fellow participants who made this day memorable. I look forward to more collaborations and continuing the mission of inclusive education for all.

During the conference, I had the privilege of meeting Mr. Wang Fei Yang, a dedicated teacher and technology innovator from China. He introduced me to one of his latest translator devices, designed to support real-time multilingual communication—an especially promising tool for students with special needs.

What touched me most was his generous offer to send the product for my students to try, recognizing the potential impact it could have on Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing learners. This kind of cross-border collaboration is truly inspiring and reinforces the power of innovation and empathy in education.

I’m truly thankful that I always meet kind and generous people along my academic journey. From colleagues who inspire me, to innovators like Mr. Wang Fei Yang who are willing to share their tools for the benefit of my students, each connection reminds me that the heart of education is humanity and collaboration.